The Darkness Inside
by J-Rod67
Summary: The darkness was crawling, reaching to drag Clarke down. It had finally taken it's hold, and it wasn't going to let her go easily. Post S2E8. Suggestive Bellarke. One-shot or two-shot.


Her whole life, she had someone ruling over her: parents, teachers, the chancellor, and even her supervising doctors. There was always someone telling her what to do and when to do it. The one time Clarke didn't listen to anyone was the time she was sentenced to jail. The rules kept everyone on The Ark alive and safe. Without them, there would be chaos and they wouldn't have survived the 97 years they did.

But down on Earth, there were no rules to follow. No one was there to tell her what to do or give guidelines on what is wrong or right. Having no rules had changed whom Clarke was on the inside. Bellamy could say all he wants that who we are and who we need to be to survive were two different things, but that wasn't true for her. It may have been in the beginning, but not any more. Not since…Finn…

Going back to camp wasn't an option right now. She couldn't bear to face those at Camp Jaha…especially Raven.

_"If she won't let him go, kill her."_

Those words from Raven rang through her ears. Raven wanted her to save Finn…at any cost. It's what Raven would do if she could go in Clarke's place. But instead, she was relying on Clarke.

_ "Clarke, you have to help him."_

There was no one else who could help him. The whole camp was ok with him being sacrificed to save their lives. Even her mom couldn't do anything. As the Chancellor, she couldn't go against the peoples' will out in the open. Other than Raven, Bellamy, Octavia, and Murphy, none of the 100 were here with her to stand up to the Grounders. So it was up to her.

But as she walked to meet the Commander, Clarke knew what she had to do. Raven would eventually understand…someday. She knew that the Commander would reject her proposal of taking her for Finn, so the only thing to do was to get as close as possible and help him the only way she could. As she walked towards him, Clarke drank him in as much as possible. The way his brown hair had started to curl at the ends, the way his eyes rose to meet hers, love filled to the brim in his brown eyes. How could she have ever doubted that he loved her? How could she have ever doubted that she loved him? They had both done terrible things, but in the end, their love was stronger than it all. And it was her love for him that led her to this. She would do anything for him.

In the end, she knew the only thing that Clarke could do for Finn…was to let him go. With one final kiss, she ended it all. Ended his life and ended their love story.

There was real gratitude in his eyes when he realized what she was doing. He knew that this was the final gift she could give him. By killing Finn, she had sacrificed part of herself. The last part of Clarke Griffin from the Ark had died along with Finn.

So instead of facing Raven, her mother, and everyone else, Clarke left them behind and went to the one place she could be alone. The one place that was hers and Finn's alone. It was quite a ways hike to the 'art supply store', but Clarke knew the way there by heart. She made it there just before dawn, but instead of going in, she sat down outside of it. The same place they had watched as Raven's drop ship fall from space. Clark sank to her knees, beating the ground with her fist.

"Why? Why did it have to be Finn! He was a good guy…one of the best! Why!" she screamed. Clarke felt tears fall from her eyes freely, staining the green grass. Sinking back, she wrapped her arms around her knees and sobbed. She let it all out. Her rage, her sadness, her shame. For Finn, for Atom, for her father, for Wells, for everyone that had died in her life. After a while, her sobs stopped and settled into a deep ache within her chest. She finally felt the cold of the night as it settled deep in to her bones. Clarke shivered uncontrollably, from both the cold and her actions of tonight.

A hand suddenly settled on her shoulder, lightly touching her in an affectionate way as to show it meant no harm.

Instinctively, Clarke knew who it was. He was the only person that would know how to get here in the dark and actually do it, risking his life to get here.

"Bellamy…"she whispered quietly. It wasn't that she didn't appreciate his concern, but she wanted to be alone. She couldn't handle how he would look at her, knowing what Clarke had done.

"I figured you wouldn't want to be around anyone you actually liked," he said softly. Those were the same words she had said to him so long ago. But they weren't the same…_she_ wasn't the same. And this time, she didn't want to be around anyone, let alone Bellamy. Instead of replying to him, she simply sat there in silence, gripping her knees tighter. Clarke was tired. Not just tired, she was exhausted. She couldn't handle it any more: the responsibility, the leadership, the constant eyes watching her. She had run off a cliff and fallen off with no end in sight and no turning back.

She felt Bellamy sit beside her, close enough that she could feel the heat radiating off of him but far enough away that they weren't touching. Clarke knew what he was doing. Letting her know he was there for her, in whatever way she needed. Whether he needed to be a punching bag or a shoulder to cry on or simply a friend to sit with, he was there, waiting for her. Clarke felt gratitude seep through her. Bellamy was the only one who would know exactly how to handle this. How to be there for her in the exact way that she needed.

They sat in silence for what seemed like hours. Clarke had no words. She couldn't tell Bellamy how she was feeling. Hell, _she_ couldn't even figure out her own feelings. Her love for Finn was so strong, and yet, it was being swallowed. The longer time went on, the more the hatred filled her. Hatred for his actions that lead to his sacrifice. Hatred for her people for letting this happen. Most of all, hatred for herself. For everything she had become and everything she had done. Killing Finn had killed part of her and let loose the darkness inside of her. She had held it back as long as possible, but from the moment she landed on Earth, it was there. A darkness that Finn had kept chained. Without him there, it was loose, and Clarke was terrified of what she would become.

She felt a soft weight settle around her shoulders, and glanced up to see Bellamy's jacket around her. He didn't say a word as he did it, but she silently thanked him with her eyes. Clarke hadn't realized it, but she had been shivering uncontrollably.

"Bellamy," she whispered, looking him in the eyes. Bellamy said nothing, but instead pulled her against his chest. She let him, leaning into him even. Bellamy was strong where she was weak. His heart beat, giving her a rhythm to think about, to focus on. "Bellamy, tell me a story."

Bellamy wrapped his arms around Clarke and settled deeper against the tree. "There once was a princess. She lived in a large, glass castle for her entire life, never venturing outside of the walls surrounding it. But one day, the princess ventured outside of the walls, disguising herself as a peasant. She spent all day in the town, interacting with her people. They were kind to her, and she to them. She had brought many little gifts with her and gave them to the townsfolk as she shopped. While out, she met a young man. He was a crafter who worked with metal. She spent a great deal of time with him, and he gifted her with a small figure of a deer. In return, she gave him a sign of her gratitude: a kiss. She gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"As time went on, the princess continued to visit him. Eventually, she revealed her identity to the crafter. He accepted her as she was and understood why she had lied to him. After a year of secret meetings, it was time for the princess to be crowned Queen. But the crafter had been drafted for battle. He was to be sent to the front lines of the war. The princess didn't want him to go, and begged him not to. But he knew he had to. He would put her and his friends first. He wouldn't let someone else go in his place. So with a confession of love and a final kiss good-bye, he left to fight for her.

"Days later, the princess was given the news that he had sacrificed himself to save the rest of the army. The battle had been won thanks to the crafter. The princess cried for days, but at her coronation, she held her head up high. She invited the people of the town to watch and join her in the celebration. They were shocked that the loving, kind girl who had shown up with gifts was now their Queen. But they knew she would be a great Queen, a kind one.

"Many years later, the Queen married and had a son. His name….was Finn, after the crafter. They enjoyed years of peace during and after the Queen's reign. Finn's sacrifice lead to the kingdom prospering and happiness," Bellamy finished the story, pulling Clarke closer to him. Tears had dripped down her eyes onto Bellamy's arm, but she didn't wipe them from her eyes. Instead, she closed them and breathed in the scent of the forest around them mixing with Bellamy's scent of leather from his jacket. Clarke didn't know how long it was before she fell asleep in Bellamy's arms.

Clarke woke up the next morning, still in Bellamy's arms. Her head was against his chest and her legs were draped over his. Glancing up through her lashes, she studied him as he slept. His face was completely relaxed and his breathing was even. She imagined this was how he looked when they were on the Ark. He wasn't worried about getting killed each day and he certainly wasn't worried about comforting a girl who had just killed their friend. But that was just a dream now. This was life.

"Trying to memorize my devilishly handsome face?" Clarke's eyes drifted to his and realized that he was looking at her with amusement. She felt heat drift through her and smiled gently.

Realizing she was still putting all her weight on him, she apologized, "I'm sorry for squishing you. I didn't even realize I fell asleep." Gently, she pushed up away from him, only to be drawn back down against him.

Her eyes widened as she looked up at him. Bellamy had closed his eyes once again, yawning as he sat there. "Mmm, let's just stay here for a little while longer, ok Princess?" he murmured sleepily.

Clarke stiffened at the name. Princess. Everything came rushing back to her. It was the last thing he had said to her. The last thing before she plunged a knife in his stomach and killed him. "Princess…I don't deserve that name any more. He called me that, deemed me that, but I killed him. I killed my friend. I killed the guy I love. I'm a monster," she spat, her voice showing she how obviously disgusted she was with herself. Before, she had felt sadness and even anger at Finn, but now, all she felt was self-loathing. She got up from leaning against Bellamy and walked away, pulling her arms tight around herself. Her fault…it was all her fault.

Bellamy suddenly stood in front of her, gripping her arms tight. "Clarke, you are not a monster. You did what you had to do, what Finn would have wanted you to do. You saved him from a horrible death. Don't torture yourself with the guilt. The more you let it get to you, the more you dishonor Finn's memory," Bellamy pleaded. He brought his hand under her chin and forced her to look at him. "Clarke, we need you. _I_ need you. I can't do this by myself. If we're going to get the rest of our people back, we're going to need our princess." Clarke was speechless. One of the few times that had happened, especially against Bellamy. She usually had a retort, an argument, something to say back, but she had nothing. He was right. Looking into his blazing brown eyes, Clarke could see he meant every word.

"You're right," she whispered.

Bellamy's eyes widened, a slight murmur of amusement behind them. "What's that, princess? Did I hear you right? Did you just admit that I, Bellamy Blake the total ass, was right? This must be a miracle!" he joked, smiling. Just like that, he had gone from being a serious leader to a total jack ass.

Smiling, she punched him in the arm. "Don't expect that to happen again any time soon. I'd sooner throw myself into the pit full of spikes than let you win," she shot back. And just like that, Bellamy had distracted her from her worries, if just for a second. He had gotten her to smile a genuine smile. And with that, she knew it was going to be ok. Even the nickname princess didn't bother her. For every time he called her that, it would bring Finn back to them. If only for a second, she could almost feel his bright smile shining down on her.

_"Thanks, Princess."_

* * *

><p><em>Hey guys! Thanks for reading this! This was my thoughts on how Clarke would react to this afterwards, and minor Bellarke moments. I thought about putting in some more romancy stuff between them, but I feel like they wouldn't do that and dishonor Finn's memory. So here is some friendship fluff, just to show how close the two have gotten. This is just a one-shot, but if you guys like it enough, I may be inclined to add another more fluffy chapter. Please review! I love to hear from you guys and get any feedback that I can. Thanks again!<em>


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